So I'd like to start off saying that I am well known for being an asshole but so are my friends. During college my extracirricular activity was cheating on my girlfriends, I actually had the thing down to an art. At the height of it all I had atleast 3 girlfriends at the same time and two fuck buddies. Two of them knew about atleast one other but I had perfected the art so well that it didnt really matter. I lost the second one on a druken tequilla night.
My friend in I had a long time history of putting each other in fucked up situations and seeing if the other one woould make it out alive. Sick, but we thought it was hillarious and were always trying to one up each other. During a party at my house (my first girlfriend had sorrority crap that weekend) I was partying with my third girlfriend when my buddy left and said he had to go pick someone up cause they were to drunk to drive. About 20 minutes later my buddy shows back up with my second girlfriend stumbling through the door. My third girlfriend kinda had an idea about her but wasnt too sure. My second girlfriend knew about my first girlfriend and was basically competeting to steal me away from her but had no idea about the third. My first girlfriend knew.....nothing
So put in this situation I did the only thing I could think of, bust out the bottle of tequilla and start doing rounds of shots until one of them passed out. It was a brilliant plan until a couple of people saw us doing it and wanted to join in which in turn ran us out of tequila. We only had a little beer left, not nearly enough to do the trick fast enough, I was screwed....and now severely hammered myself. I am not quite sure how the conversation came up but my buddy somehow started making fun of me about the enourmous porn collection I had. My luck seemed to turn around as my third girlfriend for some reason wanted to go watch porn....my second girlfriend, being defensive over me, agreed and said we should all go watch. Any sober girl would have seen whats going on now and been pissed. I am sure they would have figured it out the next day as well. I thought about all of this but decided it would be so much better to go out in blazing glory of a threesome because they are going to sober up and both dump my ass tom. I agreed and the three of us headed upstairs. I swear a porno director couldnt have set this thing up better. I ended up laying in bed in the middle of them with a sheet over us. After a few minutes of watching it had started. one hand started going up my left leg. Showtime I thought as the second hand went up my right leg. Within a split second the hands met at my crotch. A moment of silence as the girls started at each other...this was it!! Then it all came crashing down...apparently my second girlfriend had no intention of a threesome at all and was shocked about the other girls hand on my junk. Before I could say anything she was out the bedroom door, down the stairs, and out the front door. My third girlfriend sat there laughing her ass off. I could hear my buddy laughing from downstairs as well. I sat there trying to measure the situation up and see if my third girlfriend was pissed, for some reason she wasnt. She basically said she knew what was going on and that i needed to make a choice of who i wanted to be with. I couldnt believe I got off that easy...well almost that easy, she put her shoes on and said that we have to go find her to make sure she gets home safe. We all got into my buddies truck and about an hour later we find her on the steps to the downtown police department. Let me tell you how much fun that being shitfaced trying to convince her to get into the car despite what had happened.
My third girlfriend and I ended up taking a taxi home from there as she would only get in the truck if we werent there. To this day, I do not know how the fuck I did not get arrested. I was able to smooth everything over with number 2 the next day and a few weeks later she ended up in the fuck buddy category anyway...damn i miss college
