ManBracket.com

Ok so thank god that I don't want this piece of shit TV show, America's Got Talent. But last week I was watching The Soup and they had a clip of this group of 3 brothers who aptly call themselves "The Platt Brothers"  These dudes are seriously fucked in the head.

So ok here it is.  Watch the first minute and a half.

I am one of three brothers so I can tell you there are so many things wrong with these fuckers, for instance

1) Jump suits, seriously?  You dumb shits look like you are in your thirties.  Jump suits are for 10 and under and 80 and over.  No middle ground here guys.

2) Your talent, as brothers, is dancing?  So let me get this straight when you guys get together you practice dancing? I cant even imagine wanting to or even considering asking my brothers to dance with me.  When brothers get together they should be either A) Getting completely shithoused or B) eating too much on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

3) Your fake enthusiasm.  Brothers are supposed to keep it real with each other.  The one brother should tell the other two they are being fake as shit. Then one of those brothers should tell the other one that he is being a fake ass pussy. Then they should all punch each other in the face.

4) Your actual dance routine.  So ok, lets say you are slightly mentally retarded, as these three are, and you decide you and your other brothers combined talent is dancing and you come up with a routine.  What is up with your gay ass Nsync fist pumps? Nsync could get away with it to get tail, a decade ago. Those bastards wouldn't even try it now.  But you idiots think it looks good?

5) That stupid cooking dinner or whatever the fuck part of your routine. Which one of you geniuses came up with the idea that for literally half of your routine 2 of the 3 wouldn't be doing shit and just standing there.  What the fuck was that whole thing?

6) And this one should really be 6-100.  When I first saw that 69 spider circle buttfuck spinning shit I was severely disturbed.  But then I thought about it more and now I am even more disturbed. First of all which one of you fuckers came up with the idea for a dance move that would have your brothers balls in your face?  and then second I was thinking to myself, my god, these fuckers have practiced this over and over and over.  So for many hours of these idiots days and a percentage of their life they had their brothers balls in their face. 

Here is a lesson to you Platt Brothers.  This is not how normal brothers behave.  It is not even fine to do this shit in your weird little incest perverted world but at what point did you decided you would do this shit on national TV?  ManBracket way way way down dudes. 

Hi I am this fucking guy.  I am an asshole.  I am going to come up with a stupid preface for a commercial and then I am going to win everyone over.

You are wondering how huh? Well I am goiing to smile and talk at the same time (at the end).  That will get them to trust me.  It looks completely normal and is totally natural to speak like this.

Fuck this guy, I am not buying from him on principle.

I can not stand every single girl on the planet who sticks their arm out on their hip everytime they take a picture.  What are you a fucking model?

You dont look hot striking that pose.  You just look dumb and you look like you are trying to hard. Just go back to the old standards: Clevage, nudity, etc.  That is what we want.

Who fucking told you that this was a good look.  You look like a fucking Flamingo. 

What are you tyring to do?  Air the pits out?  Pretend your a model?  Stick out your titties (admorable at least)? I just dont get it and more importantly I dont like it.

Just go back to showing your tits on camera, would you?

Let me count the ways I dont give a shit about you and the Polar Bears:

1) Who are you to think I give a shit what you have to say Mr Wyle?  What, you were in something like 30 seconds of an ER episode or something?  As far as I can recall you left to become a big time movie star?  That seemed to be as good of an idea as this sorry excuse of a Commercial

B) Cmon dude, Polar Bears?  In the beginning of the commercial with the depressing music I thought you were going to get into something all real like starving kids or something but then you bust out Polar Bears?  What was the last thing a Polar Bear did for anyone?

3) And your organization really had to name itself the "WWF"?  If Jimmy the Super Fly Snuka and Hulkamania are not on your board of directors I am going to DDT you into a glacier.

3a) $16 a month for Polar Bears?  Seriously?  The Red Cross only asks for a few dollars a month.  Like I am going to give up my porn subscription for a Polar Bear.

6) If Polar Bears are so damn important how come the WWF's logo is of a Koala Be